Higher Ground: A Memoir of Salvation Found and Lost
By Carolyn S. Briggs
A riveting memoir of 1 woman's immersion into fundamentalist religion, and her choice two decades later to go away all of it in the back of. superbly written and powerfully advised, this memoir is an engaging examine the character of religion, and the inspiring tale of 1 woman's fight to discover her position on this planet. initially released as This darkish World, this booklet has been tailored into the screenplay Higher Ground, now a movie directed through and starring Vera Farmiga.
Carolyn Briggs grew up with modest capability within the Iowa Heartland. Pregnant at seventeen and married to her musician boyfriend, via the age of eighteen she came upon herself with little wish for the longer term. till an unforeseen stumble upon with the Divine.
Soon she had immersed herself right into a close-knit and patriarchal New testomony church. yet as Carolyn started to discover that her faith left little room for what she sought after out of life-as a mom, as a spouse, as an intellectually curious woman-cracks started to appear in her all-encompassing feel of religion, and slowly she started to query the faith that had given her desire.
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It’s extraordinary, I agree, Carolyn,” Pastor Jim stated, and closed his eyes in prayer. “Father, thanks for bringing those new lambs on your country. thanks for being the Lamb with out Blemish and for demise at the move for our sins. Oh, Jesus, how we thanks for today, today of salvation. Amen and amen. ” while I opened my eyes after the amens, I observed my mother status in the back of the auditorium. She regarded misplaced in her short-shorts. The church mothers wore below-the-knee skirts and stiff white blouses that buttoned all of the solution to the pinnacle.
Can’t we simply get married and inform them in regards to the child later? ” Eric was once adamant that our mom and dad learn about the newborn. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t inform my mother and stepfather that i used to be pregnant. It used to be evidence that I have been having intercourse, and all at once it felt depraved, wicked, simply undeniable flawed. My disgrace used to be deep and actual. each morning, all morning lengthy and good into the afternoon, I concealed within the rest room, vomiting. I grew to become at the water and radio to hide the sounds of my retching, and later on I went out to lie within the solar, donning a bit bikini and sucking on orange Popsicles.
Sister, I’d wish to wash yore lovely little ft correct now,” a toothless previous guy used to be announcing to me. “And then it’s your flip to clean my pore outdated clodhoppers. ” I shook my head. No approach may that be occurring. I wiggled my feet in my footwear and cringed on the considered a stranger’s palms on my toes. “Would you permit an individual wash your toes? ” I requested Eric. “What? No. glance, Carolyn, i've got 5, perhaps six locations i will call,” Eric stated. “Are you going to name now? ” “Might as well,” he stated. “Well, let’s pray first.
I used to be now an Elder’s spouse. Eric have been named an Elder a 12 months in the past. Eric and that i either stood out at Mt. Olive, our zealotry, our obvious unabashed love for Jesus, our dedication to fact – those have been characteristics that individual us within the filthy rich and speedily transforming into team of believers at Mt. Olive. They have been good expert and genteel, women and men who revered culture, even if it used to be the Razorbacks or Jesus. If it had stood the try out of time, then that used to be more than enough for them. yet in contrast to many of the different church buildings we had visited within the South, we came across precise believers the following, a pastor-Elder of significant mind and imaginative and prescient; Jeremy, the worship pastor; and a retired couple whose lives radiated love and worship of the residing Christ.
In the event that they have been nonetheless coated up in neat stacks, then every little thing used to be ok, not anything had occurred that used to be unfixable. It turned an obsession, that drawer. in class, I’d watch the clock’s minute hand on the finish of the day. I knew whilst it made the ultimate jerk to the eleven, the bell may ring and that i may run domestic. usually, I didn’t cease at my locker, I simply carried the day’s books domestic with me so i'll get domestic speedier. I ran the six blocks, ran around the major street, and heard a semi’s blaring horn good at the back of me.